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Publishing 101 for Family and Friends

Why Your Book's Success Depends on It

by Nina L. Diamond

“I don’t want to get a divorce over this,” the author told me.

His live-in girlfriend, whom he thought of as a wife, was giving him a hard time about his book manuscript. He’d written a memoir. She read it and wondered why it wasn’t like her favorite novels.

Because she didn’t understand that his memoir wasn’t supposed to have the form and feel of a novel, she mercilessly criticized his book. As a first-time author, he quickly began to doubt the quality of his memoir. Even if this hadn’t been his first foray into publishing, he might’ve doubted himself and his work in the face of such criticism. Unfortunately, the most experienced and talented writers among us can be plagued by self-doubt and find it hard to stand their ground.

“Have you sold your book yet?” the husband of a non-fiction author kept asking her even though she’d just started sending her book proposal to agents about a week earlier. “Why is it taking so long? Maybe no one will buy it.”

“I think you should add something about this to one of your chapters,” the wife of a self-help author told him. She couldn’t have been more wrong, but that didn’t stop her from lobbying him relentlessly about it. Trying to avoid conflict, he was going to take her advice. Fortunately, his editor stopped him.

Often, some of the biggest challenges an author faces aren’t from the crazy publishing industry but from their very own nearest and dearest – their family, friends, and other well-meaning folks who don’t realize that their uninformed comments and suggestions are not only counter-productive, but add even more pressure to an already stressful creative and logistical journey.

Unlike most other businesses, the publishing industry often operates in a counterintuitive, illogical way. What we may think of as common sense principles are nowhere to be found in the publishing world. This is the first lesson for those about to enter that world, but it’s a lesson that must also be shared just as quickly with family and friends. The same goes for every other aspect of writing and publishing.

For your own peace of mind and professional survival, those closest to you should understand the basics and then some. Share what you know about the creative and publishing processes. Share what you learn as you learn it.

If you don’t, I can guarantee that you’re going to be drained, frustrated, and even unintentionally hurt by some of those closest to you.

And, you’re going to run into problems with your agent, editor, publisher, and others involved in the process because of the – let’s be bluntly honest here – well-meaning but stupid ideas and comments made by some of your nearest and dearest that can influence you because of self-doubt, the desire to avoid conflict, or even because you don't know enough about publishing to realize that your friends and family are wrong.

You may not want to even tell some of those around you that you’re writing a book until after you’ve sold it to a publisher. That easily prevents insecure or sabotaging people from making such comments as “Who would ever want to read that?” and “Why would anyone care what you have to say?”

Unfortunately, these unhealthy reactions are very common.

Once you’ve determined which people you want to tell about your efforts to write and be published, the education process must begin. For you and for them.

Begin with the nuts and bolts of publishing so well-presented in the front section of Writer’s Market, a big trade paperback with new editions published annually by Writer’s Digest Books. The first 100 or so pages of this #1 bestselling guide for writers is a crash course in publishing. The rest of the roughly 1200-page book lists agents, book publishers, magazines, contests and awards, and their guidelines.

Continue to educate your nearest and dearest with particular columns and features published in Independent Publisher, Publishers Weekly, and other industry publications and websites that give an insider’s view as well as important critical commentary.

The more you know, the more they know, the happier everyone’s going to be.

Besides, you want to avoid that strange look on the divorce court judge’s face when you explain that your irreconcilable differences all began with your husband’s unwillingness to accept that it can take more than a week to find an agent.

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Nina L. Diamond is a journalist, essayist, and the author of Voices of Truth: Conversations with Scientists, Thinkers & Healers. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Omni, The Los Angeles Times Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and The Miami Herald.

Ms. Diamond was a writer and performer on Pandemonium, the National Public Radio (NPR) satirical humor program, for its entire run in Miami and select markets nationwide from 1984-1998. As an editor, she works frequently with other authors and journalists on both fiction and non-fiction.

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