Writers Rights

The Writer's Guild, always looking to protect your rights, is back in the news again, this time deciding what to do about Amazon's adding text-to-speech software to their Kindle ebook reader. The new function will let users have books read aloud to them by the Kindle, raising questions about audiobook rights. Authors Guild executive director Paul Aiken told the Wall Street Journal, "They don't have the right to read a book out loud. That's an audio right, which is derivative under copyright law." 

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The End of the World...or Your Money Back

Whether they've been waiting for The Messiah or The Mother Ship, large groups of humanity have been pining for The End of the World since, well, The Beginning of the World.

In recent years, The End has been quite profitable for authors and publishers. Doomsday fiction and non-fiction run the giddy-with-anticipation gamut from biblical, Mayan, and other prophecies to nuclear and natural disasters, climate calamity, meteors, and even UFO invasions.

Let's face it: We crazy earthlings just can't seem to get enough of The End of the World.

In preparation, I've come up with a little something to help you out -- The Last Guide You'll Ever Need: 25 Things You Need to Know About the End of the World.

1) If you don't live in a hub city, when the world ends you'll have to go to Atlanta, Chicago, or Dallas, first.

2) The End of the World is "come as you are." No need to shower, shave, get dressed up, or even get out of bed.

3-9) There will be signs. No, not those kinds of signs, these kinds of signs:

End of the World: Or Your Money Back!

End of the World: Bring a Sweater

American Express Card: Don't Leave the World Without It!

Last Gas Station Before The End of the World

End of the World: No Smoking

End of the World: No Peeking

End of the World: Exit Here

10) Once it happens, you can finally quit wondering if The End is Near.

11) Refuse all offers to buy End of the World Insurance. After all, how would you collect?

12) You think the globe's warm now? Just wait until The End of the World.

13) If you know the right people, you could be the lucky bearer of one of these: End of the World Backstage Pass.

14) You don't have to clean up after The End of the World.

15) You'll finally find out if anything your guru has been telling you is true.

16) As it turns out, at least one crazy person who said: "The End is Near" was right.

17) We'll all get to really see Elvis again.

18-20) There will be T-shirts:

"My parents went to The End of the World and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."

"Armageddon Tired of Hearing About The End of the World."

"Oh, rats, it's The End of the World and I just washed my car."

21) The End of the World is the one tragedy that won't get turned into a Lifetime made-for-TV movie.

22) You can finally stop wondering about conspiracy theories -- you're living out the ultimate one.

23) Don't forget, you only get to do The End of the World once, so do it right.

24) Don't bother asking -- your HMO does not cover The End of the World.

25) At the End of the World everyone will be dying to see you.

While we await The End of the World, we'll just have to get our doomsday jollies from the current Global Economic Armageddon as it sends our financial world to hell in a napkin because no one can afford a handbasket.

Cheers!

* * * * *

Nina L. Diamond is a journalist, essayist, and the author of Voices of Truth: Conversations with Scientists, Thinkers & Healers. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including Omni, The Los Angeles Times Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and The Miami Herald.

Ms. Diamond was a writer and performer on Pandemonium, the National Public Radio (NPR) satirical humor program, for its entire run in Miami and select markets nationwide from 1984-1998. As an editor, she works frequently with other authors and journalists on both fiction and non-fiction.